


Of Black Widows And Crimson Delights

by shit_all_good_names_are_taken



Category: Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horrortale, Alternative Universe - Reader is a repo, As in the movie Repo!The genetic opera, Blood and Gore, DFAB reader, Domina Muffet, Drider!Muffet, Gender or Sex Swap, Graverobber!Sans, How Do I Tag, Leg Kink, Muffet is like a spider taur, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Post-Pacifist Route, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader has female body parts - AT FIRST, Reader-Insert, Sans likes to pester Reader, Sans/reader if you squint, Slow Burn, So a humanoid torso with full spider abdomen, Spider web BDSM YAS, Venom Kink, Venomous Muffet, Weird Plot Shit, What Was I Thinking?, Yeah magic is some weird shit right there, biting kink, sorta - Freeform, there aren't enough Muffet x readers out there yo, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:39:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shit_all_good_names_are_taken/pseuds/shit_all_good_names_are_taken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a legal assassin. Multiple organ failures have crippled the surface, almost leading to the extinction of humanity. But out of the disaster, a <i>hero</i> emerged, if you would be daring to call this man that. He built up a company, taking the healthy organs out of the sick, selling them to other costumers to save them. Soon, organ transplants became sort of a fashion statement. </p><p>It was expensive, but you were the reason the company was willing to risk it. You've been recruited as a so-called “Repo” – transplant repossessions are legal, and whenever someone was unable to pay for their organs, you were authorized to hunt them down, and rip out the said organ of their bodies. Yeah, you have quite some LV and EXP on your soul.</p><p>And then, the monsters showed up. The company allowed them to stay in a district close to the capital, under one condition. You kill the targets, bring the corpses to the district, and the monsters get rid of the bodies. That way, your identity could be kept a secret as there was no evidence left. And they could still keep on feasting on humans.</p><p>It's a thankless job, but someone's got to do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Legal Assassin

He's running, crying, begging for mercy. Heavy footsteps are the only sounds from your side. You never spoke when you are out to do your job. You can't risk to expose your identity, your attire positively disguising you well enough to make it impossible to tell what your actual frame looked like. The uniform made you look like a 6”6, muscular man, when in reality your body was much smaller, much leaner, curvy. You did have female body parts, but honestly you don't see yourself as a girl any longer. Especially considering your merciless behavior. You were a killer. A murderer. But a legal one at that. And honestly – you were the best at this job. You often had 3 killings a day, when most other repos had only 2 a week.

“ Please, Please I am paying! Just give me more time! “, the pathetic pleas continue. Everyone in the street fled into their houses and apartments, not even daring to observe from behind their windows. It's enough for them to know what you are, and what you are going to do to this man.

Of course, you won't listen to his pleas. He was overdue, even if he had all the money he owed the company in his hands – cash – you would still kill the target. It's your job after all.

You were starting to feel impatient. You still had two more repossession jobs to get done today, so it was time to get serious. Instead of hauntingly slowly following him, you began to ran. Your boots were heavy, and had thick, hard soles to both make you appear taller and heavier, and to easily crush a human skull if you must. But wearing them for so long, for so often, made you easily adjust to these facts and gave you the ability to run in them.

If you would try to walk more than 5 steps in stilettos though? You would drop to the floor, hard.

Despite the fact you had extra weight on you, thanks to the uniform, you were able to catch up with your target, tackling the poor man to the ground. He began to sob in despair, but your heart was hardened. You didn't feel any pity for him. It's just a job.

You didn't even bother about pulling him into an alleyway. The procedure of tearing out his liver has been performed right then, right there, in the middle of the street. His last noise was a disgusting gurgle. Another repossession, another corpse for the monster district.

Of course, thanks to your full-body uniform you didn't leave any DNA, but better be safe than sorry.  
Honestly, you kinda got along with the psychotic creatures. Despite the fact you never actually spoke to any of them. Yet they seemed to get attached to you quite easily, simply by the fact you are providing them with fresh, human meat almost every day. 

After putting the liver into a cooling box, you hoisted both the man and the box over your shoulders, walking to your truck. Well, okay, it's not YOUR truck, it's a menacing looking one you had to use when heading out to collect the overdue target's body parts. But still.

Hm, just what should you do first? Collect the other two organs, bring the first corpse into the monster district, or deliver the first organ to your boss?

A cooling box won't protect the liver for more than a few hours, and graverobbers could attempt to harvest the remaining organs from the corpse while you're inside the company. So monster district first it is. And you really aren't looking forward to it. One of them seems to really enjoy pestering you in particular. A skeleton type one, his name was Sans, if you recall that correctly. The first time you came across that one he tried to chop your head off, and ever since he keeps on following you in the monster district. Saying you dislike that little pest would be an understatement.

Usually, letting him have the fingers and the heads of the corpses was enough to make him leave you alone for the day. Today was no exception. The moment the gates opened to let you enter the district, a familiar flash of blue blurred your vision for a second, and the stank of rotten flesh crawled up your nose. 

“ heya, kid. wanna 'dog? “

You always decline. You knew he was putting fingers on them, also you wouldn't want to blow your cover by taking of your mask. As usual, you didn't even answer, nor really looked at the skeleton. Yet you made sure to watch him closely from your peripheral vision. Any movement of him could be an attempt to kill you. Their district, their rules. Any trespasser – even you repos – are free to get killed. And vice-versa for any monster stupid enough to leave the district.

“ ah, come on talk to me, you're breaking my heart here kid. “ 

He's probably going to say some shit like ' for that I'll break your ribs. ' or something alike. You've already been alerted.

But nothing came. He just snarled and disappeared into the backside of the truck, probably getting the fingers and the head. And just as expected, he was gone. Finally. You really, really disliked the skeleton. His brother was somewhat acceptable, though. He didn't really kill just for the act of violence. He doesn't seem to realize what he's doing. Like a small child with an adze, swinging it and wondering why the other fell asleep and cries red water out of the new holes. Yet, that doesn't make him less dangerous.

Normally, the moment the monsters hear your truck, they flood the street, waiting for you to throw the body into the horde, and just disappearing again while the monsters lash out at each other to decide who gets the corpse. But not this time. The monsters stayed inside, just glaring out of the windows and doors, while a swarm of small spiders started to crawl towards your truck.

Huh. This is new. Maybe some spider type is in town now, and took over dominance. None of your business honestly. You couldn't care less, and just went to the back of your truck through a small door behind your seat, opened the large gate on the side, and threw the stiff body into the pile of spiders, before quickly closing up everything and fucking leaving before one of them gets the idea of attempting to climb inside your vehicle.

It'll be an annoying hassle, knowing you'll have to get back here at least once more today. All you wanted to do was deliver the organ, get back home, get a nice, hot shower and chill on the couch with some TV in the background. But nope, not happening too soon for you, (Y/N) (L/N).

You checked the files of the next two victims. Another man, and a teenage girl. A brain, and two kidneys. There were times when your stomach would twist, reading the amount of teenagers and children in these. How would parents risk getting the expensive transplants, knowing that they'll get murdered if they fail to pay for them? Isn't it worse to get hunted down legally than just slipping away by nature's call?

Who knew what's going on in people's minds. Yours was pretty fucked up as well, so who are you to blame anyone for stupid decisions? Your most stupid decision was to sign that contract with the company – yes. The name of the company, the world leading company, was really just 'The company' – and become the first repo. And for what?

Money. Yo really, really needed the money. It's common for humans to basically do anything, as long as you get a check with a ridiculously high number on it. Why you needed that money? That's a story for another time. 

First things first. You had to hunt down the next two targets. The man named Martin, and the teenage girl named Shirley. Let's check for Martin first, his address was the closest to your current location. But usually, once people are overdue they run away from home, trying to hide in the underground – yeah, the exact same underground monsters emerged from – or in subway tunnels. No one uses the subway anymore. Not after a massive rainstorm that – ridiculously – lasted for 3 days straight, flooded the whole system and damaged every train massively. Ever since then it's been a hiding spot for the homeless, outlaws, and of course, the people being overdue.

Sometimes though, people really stay at home, trying to buy your mercy once you stand at their doorstep, just to get murdered in return. You do keep the money though. Awkwardly enough, you are allowed to do so. You weren't sure if you liked that or not.

While driving to your destination, your mind wandered back to the pile of spiders, and the monsters weird behavior. Are the small spiders monsters themselves, or just regular spiders, controlled by a massive spider type monster? What would that look like? 

Like a human, with many eyes and extra limbs? Like a giant, talking spider? 

What would the legs look like?

Of course your mind would wander to that question sooner or later,. You had a leg kink. While other people look for boobs, ass or other normal things, the first thing you look at are legs. You loved to massage them, feel them wrap around you, bite and kiss them. You even enjoy rubbing yourself against a nice pair of legs. A fetish you rarely got to live out, unless you get yourself a nice prostitude – gender not important to you.

You had to shake these thoughts off. You arrived and had to keep an eye open. Sometimes people tried to defend themselves. Ignoring the fact that if they manage to get rid of one repo, the company would send out 3 at once, and these **are going to torture the target to death** , which is of course not legal – killing was, torture was not - but no one dares to do anything about it.

It would be stupid to mess with a repo. Only monsters dared to, and already got 2 killed. 

You left the truck and walked up to the door, raising your gloved fist and harshly knocking on the door. No answer. As expected. You had to check the underground for Martin. You already didn't feel like doing it, but a job is a job is a job.

A noise. Someone was in this house. Fuck it, you rose your leg and kicked the door open. Yep, there is definitely someone in here. You pulled out a large butcher's knife and started to check every room professionally, making sure to listen to every noise carefully. 

Someone's hiding in a closet. Now that's a cliché, isn't it. Hiding in closets? Are they thinking it's just some sort of stupid B-Movie horror flick where people actually don't check them?

You ripped open the closet door, and there he was. Martin, your target. The man whose skull you have to open to get the brain. Hah, Sans won't like that. He enjoyed eating brains the most. Once, when you brought the corpses into the monster district, he zapped himself onto the seat next to you, and disgustingly feasted on the brain. He didn't give a shit about your presence, or maybe he did try to disgust you or maybe even scare you. It did disgust you, but you were a pro at hiding your emotions when you were on a job, and showed no reaction to the sight. He didn't do that again ever since.

He does seem to know about your leg kink though. Once he rose his legs and rested his feet on the dashboard of your truck, and caught you actually turning your head a bit to look at his boney legs. Deciding that bones are not included in your fetish, you dismissively looked away again, and didn't bother looking again whenever he tried that again to get your attention. While they did looked interesting, the texture of bones just killed it for you. 

Ugh, you were getting distracted again. Maybe you should catch up on sleep once you're home.

Martin was a whimpering mess, too scared to actually say a thing to you. He just pressed himself against the backside of the closet, as if he was hoping it would somehow absorb him. Of course that is not going to happen.

Your hand reached out for his head, pulling him out of the closet. He began screaming, kicking and squirming to get out of your grasp. To no avail. You stabbed his throat with the knife, waiting for his body to stop moving.

Alright, there we go. He's dead for good, brain easily retrieved. Brain wanders into a cooling box, body into the truck.

Now, only Shirley was left.

She wasn't at home, yet her parents were. You checked the whole neighborhood – just to be sure – and finally found her in the subway system.

More crying, more begging, more pleading. But you had no pity in your heart. Not while wearing this uniform – which was actually more of a costume honestly.

Running out of patience, you dug your fingers deep into her skin, pulling out the kidneys and throwing them into the cooling box. It was annoying to carry a cooling box on your back like a rucksack but that did make sure the body parts are staying fresh the second you removed them. 

Only two more things to do before you could throw your ass onto your couch and watch some television, before eventually collapsing into sleep.

Monster district, the company. 

Your truck stopped in front of the gate, waiting for them to open. The hair on the back of your neck already standing up straight as it always does when you felt magic. And of course... you entered the district, and the first thing that happened was the damn skeleton. 

This time, he didn't say anything. He just went to the back, chopping of the hands and heads.

Well, he snarled. Nevermind.

“ **where is this one's brain?** ”

You didn't answer. He went through the small door, bending over your seat and glaring you in the eyes. Truth be told, it did unsettle you.

“ **where is this one's brain???** ”

You nodded to the cooling box attached to the trucks side. Shit. He knew he wasn't allowed to get that one. Touching the company's property? Death sentence. As strong as he was, he wasn't able to dodge multiple firearms at once. 

Grumbling, he just teleported out again, leaving you alone. Weird. Normally he would have engaged you with more conversation, though unwanted on your side. You saw no reason to complain about this weird behavior, yet it did make you wonder about what was going on with the almost pathetically small skeleton. He was barely as tall as a 12 year old child. Even without your boots you would easily tower over him, being twice as tall.

And once again, only the spiders have been there, surrounding your truck. You rose an eyebrow in silence, but shrugged and copied your last procedure. You threw one of the corpses out, into the horde of crawling critters. Half of them carried it away, the other half seeming to stare at you.

_They knew you had another corpse in there._

Is it weird to feel like the other monsters should at least have the chance to get the meat?

You blankly stared at the pile, as if looking at them would mentally tell them to kindly fuck off and give someone else the chance to get some food.

But they didn't even stir.

 _Greedy little fucks._ But fine. Let them have it their way.  
Making no noise whatsoever, you threw out the second corpse, before closing up the truck again and heading for the company.

While the monsters did attack the other repos, no one this far dared to attack you- Sans being the only exception.

You really, really didn't feel like wasting any more time. The moment you drove the truck into the garage, you threw the cooling box into some employee's arms and went to the changing rooms. You did have to take the uniform/costume to your home, but you at least could get changed in here and take a shower. And bloody hell you needed the shower. The sight of all these spiders gave you the feeling of something crawling all over you.

You stripped off the clothes, letting the hot water rinse over you. It sure did help with the feeling of spiders crawling all over you. And also it helped you relaxing your muscles. Your hands wandered over your surprisingly non-masculine body. Seriously, no one would be expecting YOU to be the #1 repo.

A sigh of content escaped you as you finally felt like a human being again, as if the hot water also washed away the fact you are a murderer. You started telling yourself that every time you got back, and in the end you did start believing it. Hot water, and you've been a different person.

Gladly, the rest of the day has been uneventful. Your life has been enough of a hassle already. If your private life would have been just as annoying, you wouldn't be able to deal with this shit.

 

You didn't know that this day will be the last day you'll get to spend that peacefully after work.


	2. Graverobber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh come on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend to look at this video in case you've never watched the movie that inspired me to write this story;  
> TW: Bloody  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7AjlT406_s

You fell asleep on the couch, watching some old-ass sitcoms - ever since the epidemic organ failures started, the programs really started to suck ass. So an old show was better than nothing.

Hey, it could be worse. Much worse.   
It has been your phone that woke you. Not the yelling of the family on the screen. You groggily peeled yourself out of the soft couch material, rubbed your sore eyes, and looked at the display.

Mr. Rogers. The head of the company. Your boss. Means you already got new targets.   
At least they pay well, though you really disliked having to drive to the monster district to get rid of the bodies. Especially now that these spiders showed up. You weren't afraid of spiders, never have been, but they did make you feel uneasy. Seriously, the monsters hid their asses when they showed up, and you did watch Harry Potter often enough to know that there's probably some big ass spider boss ready to feast on you in case you drop your guard for a second.

Not gonna happen, nu-uh, man! (Y/N) (L/N) will not end up being spider food!

Gladly, Mr. Rogers knew how to keep conversations short. You somehow hated talking to people over the phone. Mainly because you used to have a friend just unable to know when to shut the fuck up. All these useless details you never asked for. It made you kinda hate the word “because”.

“ (Y/N), sending you a message with the next targets, come into my office when you are done. We need to talk. “

“ Yes, Mr. Rogers. “

And he hung up. Short, straight to the point. 

_Sans was the exact opposite of that. Once he begins talking, you ache to just dust him to get a moment of silence. And Papyrus was even worse with his loud, screeching voice._

 

You yawned and stretched, before heading to the basement where you hung up the uniform to dry after professionally cleaning it. And by professional you mean using a damn garden hose. Slipping the uniform and the mask into a bag, you left your house to get into your car and drive to the company. Your weapons and truck already having been cleaned for you. 

Sometimes you thought about trying to work on a “Batman voice” to interact with others if absolutely necessary. For example; telling the small skeleton monster to shut the fuck up.   
Or maybe you should just buy something to distort your voice. Yeah, that's probably a better idea. Your boss wouldn't mind if you stop at a store real quick to get that, right? Though you'll have to hit a comic book shop or something for devices like that. Nerds are overflowing with these things, aren't they?

Yeah, sure why not. Just quickly wander in, tell the shopkeeper what you need, act like it's going to be a gift for your nephew or some shit, and walk right out.

Finally, you'll be able to talk without risking to identify yourself.

 

 

Absolutely affordable, and with some tape you'll be able to place it inside your mask. This was going to be a great day! For once, you could barely wait to get to the monster district and see Sans. Oh, all the things you'll throw at him, making him fuck off for good if you can.

After putting the small voice distorter into the mask, you checked your surroundings and tried it on. Fit's perfectly, doesn't hinder breathing properly. Perfect. 

You pulled out your phone, quickly downloading an app to record your own voice. Testing what it sounds like.

 

Okay, a bit too much like an androgynous Darth Vader, but it'll do the trick.

 

You could tell you were getting exited about being able to use your voice, but you had to save batteries for when you reach the monster district. That was the only negative thing about this voice distorter. It drains batteries like fuck, two batteries barely enough to last for 3 hours. So you kept it turned off while hunting down the first victim. Only two for you today. Maybe because Mr. Rogers wanted to talk to you in his office. Let the rookies do the work, you still get payed much more nevertheless.

Your first victim was a mid-aged woman – probably a housewife – and you needed to get her womb. Ew.  
Second was another mid-aged woman, with a spine for the taking.

Yeah, besides organs, the company sells any kind of transplants now. Fashion statement, you'll never get how transplants became a fashion statement. But you were never interested in any kind of fashion. If you did wear or do whatever's been 'the shit' at the moment, it was a mere coincidence.

 

Found her. Time to catch her and rip out that womb. Still – ew. Not the worst thing you had to get this far though. 

She wore a wig, sunglasses and a giant hat, hoping that the repos won't recognize her. Sorry, honey. But you're dealing with the #1 here. That shit can't fool your expert eyes.

Make it quick, nice and easy. Don't let her see you, and then - _slash._

Gladly, she didn't notice your truck, giving you the time to park it somewhere better hidden, and giving you the option to sneak through the crowd to get close.

Yeah, right in your reach. The sight was clear. She didn't notice you, and those who did made sure to not show a sign of being aware of your presence. If they startle your target, you're allowed to beat the shit out of them for hindering your work. And honestly, you absolutely would. 

You held your trusty knife in your hand, took a swing, and watched your target dropping to the ground. Everyone quickly ran away, screaming. Finally, more space. Now you could cut out the womb and put it into the cooling box.

 

The usual question. Next target first, or monster district first?

 

Fuck it, you chose the monster district. A sly smirk, unseen thanks to your mask, spread all over your face. Just you wait, Sans. Just you wait. He will never pester you again.

You threw the corpse into the backside of your truck, took care of the cooling box, and drove like a maniac towards the monster district. The second you saw the gates, you flipped the small switch on the voice distorter.

The guards outside are looking at you, probably surprised you're working that early. Usually, repos get only send out in the evening the earliest. It was barely noon.

They opened the gate. Yes. Your truck entered. Double yes.

No Sans.

What the fuck? For once, you actually wanted to see that fucking asshole, and he doesn't show up???

 

Huh, well maybe because it's still so early. He once mentioned him being lazy and sleeping most of the day.

“ Motherfucker. “, you silently cursed, and jumped a little when suddenly, you heard crashing noises in the backside of your truck. Oh heeeeeell no. You are going to give the corpse to the monsters anyway, but no one is allowed breaking into it!

You ripped the small door open and looked at the damn fucking skeleton, sitting on the ground, and cutting off the hands and the head. That was new.

“ heh, morning' human. want some _finger food_? “, he casually asked, grinning at you and holding up one of the removed hands. Fucking ew.

“ Fuck off, I don't eat that shit.”

His face was priceless. He looked like he was hit by a car, red glowing iris staring at you in disbelief. Did you just talk in a voice more disturbing than his own?

“ i don't fucking believe this. this is your voice? “

“ Got a problem with that? Get the hell out of my truck or I will dust you. “

He was still surprised about you being suddenly verbal – or verbal at all – but quickly found back his trademark smirk. 

“ ah, come on kid you're breakin' my heart here. 's not the first time i'm in yer truck and usually, ya don't want to dust me for it. “

“ That's where you're wrong. “, you growled, stepping closer to the skeleton, towering over him with ease. Only if you'd kneel he'd be your height. However, his grin doesn't falter, not even fore a second.

“ heh, stop lyin' to yourself i know you like my presence, human. “

Just who does this guy think he is? You were just about to respond when the truck started shaking as something hit the side of it hard. Both o you almost lost your balance, and you sure lost your patience! First this asshole breaks into your truck, now some dipshit attacks it?

Time to remind the monsters of why they should fear you. You forcefully tore the cleaver out of Sans' grasp and opened the gate to see whoever dared to do this.

As expected, you saw a large pile of spiders. You could see Sans tense slightly beside you in your peripheral vision.

“ heh, gotta go, later kid. “, he quickly spoke, and left. Damn whatever controls these spiders is menacing enough to make Sans leave behind his beloved cleaver, just to get away.

_His cleaver?_ Nope. Now it's yours.

You could feel all their eyes on you, expecting from you to throw out the corpse and leave. But you're not going to have it. They've gone too far.

“ Hey assholes, if you ever attack my truck again, I will burn you all to a crisp with a flamethrower. Got that!? “, you snarled, throwing out the corpse after a pregnant pause. They didn't move at first, as if they were silently judging you, before taking off with the corpse. You probably pissed off whoever their boss is, but you didn't care. At least you got a new cleaver now.

Looking at the cleaver you noticed something odd. There wasn't just fresh blood on it. Also dirt, and crusty residues of older blood.

Did he dig with it? Does he ever clean it?

Ugh, who cares. The fact he's gone was all that matters.

Maybe this thing will prove useful to you sometime. 

 

You closed the gate again, went back to the driver's seat and headed back to get the second victim done.   
Routine, no problem at all. A matter of minutes once you hunted her down, and another corpse ready to get delivered to the monsters – ugh. To the spiders. Yeah, the spiders. Annoying little bitches. You seriously started to hate them now that they dared to assault your truck. 

Despite it wasn't technically “your truck”, it was rather the truck you always used when you headed out to do your job as a repo man, you considered it to be yours. No other repo used it, they knew it's never a good idea to mess with you.

 

Your mind wandered off as you drove through the heavy gate dividing the monster district from the capital, to what your boss Mr. Rogers might want from you. He rarely wanted to talk to you after work. Usually he only did that if the next target was a delicate situation – like a former employee or something, or if he needed your opinion on possible next repo men to train. You had a good eye for who's gonna be useful in the end and who will be not.

 

You silently rose an eyebrow as your truck came to a halt once you were on your usual spot in the district.

No Sans.

No Spiders. 

 

Hesitantly, some monsters approached, looking around in worry of the spiders flooding the streets any second. But nobody came. 

You shrugged, mentally thanking whoever you believe in, living in such a disastrous world, opened the gate on the side of the truck and threw out the corpse.

Sans' own fault if he misses out on showing up to get the brain and the hands. Not your problem.  
If he gets mad, you'll dust him.

 

On the way back to the company, you pulled out your cellphone to send your boss a quick text. Informing him that you'll be there in a few minutes. He asked you to inform him when you're about to show up whenever he needed to talk to you. Annoying, but fine.

 

Once again, your truck stopped and you left the vehicle, shouldering the cooling box to hand it an employee. You could of course walk up to the big guy's office in your uniform, but you preferred not to. It was splattered with blood and mucus, the usual residues of your job.

A quick shower, a quick change, uniform thrown into a bag, and you were ready to face the intimidating man. Mr. Rogers, the most powerful person in existence. No one would dare to say anything against him, or disobey him. Not even you, a physically more powerful person, despite the fact you were smaller than him. He didn't have your fighting skills, and you knew he was terminally ill.

Yeah, the man whose company saved so many lives – and took so many with the repossession law – couldn't prevent his own extinction. Bittersweet irony.

“ You wanted to see me, sir? “, you asked in a calm, monotone voice. 

Rogers looked up at you, his usually somewhat grumpy looking face lightening up slightly. That never meant any good. Whenever his expression lit up at your sight, you usually have been informed that your next target was an employee you actually got along well with – means you could slaughter them much easier for the fact they've trusted you. That taught you to control your emotions – do not get attached to anyone or anything. You might have to murder them someday.

“ (L/N), what a sight for sore eyes. We have something serious to talk about. “

Great. You nodded and stepped closer, noticing the eyebags under his bright, applegreen eyes. You had to admit he was one handsome son of a bitch, but... nah.

“ You will be sent to a... 'special mission'. No more repossessions for you until this job is done, but payment won't change, even if it takes you a while to get this situation handled. “

Okay, that was unexpected. You allowed yourself to rise an eyebrow and tilt your head slightly in confusion.

“ What do you mean by that, if I may ask? Is it an employee again? “

He shook his head, leaning back in his big chair and sighing. The two female bodyguards behind him – looking like identical twins, dressed in a way that looked both slutty and dangerous, and having heavy machine guns in their hands, remained completely silent and didn't move an inch. As if they weren't breathing. Damn. 

Those legs.

_Don't get distracted (Y/N)_

“ It seems that we have to deal with a graverobber. Their identity is still unknown. We do assume it is a monster, though. A human wouldn't be able to do anything with half-rotten bodies. We discovered several graves that have been dug open, and empty coffins. It's a thorn in my eye to know that there is some bastard monster out there, unwilling to live by the rule of never leaving the district. “

Your mind wandered to Sans' cleaver. That does explain the dirt you found on it, the crusty blood. He can teleport, leaving the district to check out a graveyard and return with a corpse was easy for him. 

Bastard.

“ Also, we do get money from our deal with the monsters. Taxes for living aboveground, and getting fresh corpses from us. So it also harms our business. If they get their hands on free corpses, we get less gold. 

Find the graverobber, and perform a public execution. I want both mankind and monsterkind to see the results of turning against the company. “

Oh, well you had no idea they payed taxes for the corpses. You always thought they got them for free. Yet this was Mr. Andrew Rogers here. He does absolutely nothing for free. Even prostitudes had to pay _him_ for sex, not the other way around.

“ Consider it done, sir. “

Oh Sans, you are so done for. If he turns out to be the graverobber, he's gonna wish to never have met you.

But you needed evidence. 

You felt your stomach twist.

_In order to get the evidence, you had to spend an awful lot of your 'free time' now in the monster district._

Means sans has the option to pester you for hours now, and you will also see the spiders again. And the fact you'll show up without any corpses to deliver might make the monsters mad.

You should get prepared for lots of dust shedding, there is no way you'll get to spend so much time with empty hands in their district without getting attacked. But the monster able to kill you has yet to show up. Even Sans fucked up at your first meeting, and he was damn fast and strong. No monster dared to get in his way, or his brother's way for the fact that he was overprotective.

But your biggest problem might be the spiders. The pile of them was strong enough to smash against your truck so hard it shook. You'll take a flamethrower with you.

 

“ I knew I could count on you, (L/N). Contact me as soon as you revealed the graverobbers identity. “

“ Yes, sir. “

He nodded, resting his head on his hands, looking concentrated.

“ Excellent, dismissed. “

 

This was either going to be the best time of your life, or the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graverobber Sans is best Sans
> 
> Just, like... without the zydrate shit.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br87eV_9nGI


	3. Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can this get any worse?

After talking to Mr. Rogers, you nearly raided the weapon storage to get yourself a few guns, some ammo, and a flamethrower. Hopefully you won’t be needing them.

 

While putting all the weapons into bags, you noticed one issue in particular. Where are you going to sleep? Should you just drive back home every day to sleep and eat, or fight your way through and mark some territory as yours?

The gas you would spend on driving around would be an issue as well. It would be too excessive to not get your paycheck reduced. And you damn, needed the money.

 

Fuck it, you will just claim a territory as yours. You didn’t sleep much in the first place, so it’ll be a-okay.

 

Hoisting the bags over your shoulders, you went to your car to collect a few things from your home, before returning to the company and using the truck again. Of course, you thought about just changing to not raise suspicion, and only grabbed the few items you needed the most for this special mission. A toothbrush, some toothpaste, fresh underwear and whatnot.

 

Finally arriving back inside your trusty truck, and the uniform, you glanced at the cleaver once more. Yep, now that you knew about a graverobber messing with the business, you could clearly tell that Sans indeed did dig with it. But you needed evidence on him being the robber still. Monsters do weird shit every now and then, who knows if he just dug around the front yard randomly or something.

 

It would be nice to just accuse him to be the graverobber and see him getting executed, but if it really isn’t him and the robber strikes again, you failed your mission and you lose some reputation. It means Mr. Rogers will trust you less, and you get payed less.

 

That, sadly, is a no-go.

 

So your first goal was to observe Sans as much as possible. Which made you inwardly cringe. He was so annoying. And disgusting. But a job is a job.

 

Focusing on the next paycheck in your mind, you started the engine and drove away to the monster district. Gladly you also thought of getting enough batteries to keep the voice distorter alive.

 

 

You felt slightly nervous when you reached the gates of the monster district once more. The human guards outside eyed you in a confused manner.They have been informed that you might be spending a lot of time in the monster district for a while, but did not get any information as of why, and how much time. You ignored them and just let the vehicle roll inside. Already bracing for Sans showing up any second.

 

As expected, it didn’t take long and the smirking, homicidal skeleton sat beside you, glancing at you.

 

“i can’t smell any fresh blood in here, kid. whatcha doing in our district, then? getting rid of the spiders..?“, he curiously asked. Almost hopefully, you could swear.

 

You just shook your head no, not really paying attention to him. Silence…

 

“so, uh.. ya got somethin’ that’s mine. i want it back.“

 

The cleaver. You smirked underneath the mask. No way, _buddy_ , that’s yours now.

 

“Mine now.“, you just growled, seeing him starting to get a bit nervous. And probably angry. He was just about to respond, but again, the truck shook. The fucking spiders are tackling it again. “Motherfuckers.”, you barked and stopped the vehicle, stomping into the backside - Sans curiously watched you - and you grabbed the flamethrower.

“now things are getting interesting.”, he chuckled, now standing up as well and walking up behind you to watch, and even was nice enough to use his magic to open the metal doors for you. You didn’t feel the need to thank him, and eyed the pile of spiders outside with sheer anger.  
“ **I thought I made myself clear. Do not mess with my truck.** ”, you snarled, and indeed started to burn the pile of spiders to a crisp. Less than half of them managed to flee. You mentally scolded yourself for not being able to kill them all at once, and probably pissing off whoever controls them. But that is a problem the future-you will have to deal with.

 

Sans began to clap slowly in acknowledgement, and closed the metal door for you again. “nice job kid, but uh… you won’t like what’s going to happen next. muffet’s gonna be angry as hell.”

 

So, spider-boss has a name. Muffet. Silly name, not really dangerous sounding. You just turned around to Sans, waiting for a moment before responding. “They saw you, too. Muffet will also get your boney ass for this. “

 

You saw his grin fall, he just realized that himself.

 

“shit.”

 

“Tell me whatever there is to know about Muffet, and I will slay that thing no problem. No idea why you monsters are such pussies over it but lash out at each other whenever I bring a fresh corpse.”, you simply stated and went back to the driver’s seat, pointing at the other seat to tell Sans to sit down. Which he did, even though he seemed a bit hesitant.

 

“i don’t think ya can kill her, though. she was kinda average when we were still underground. but the excessive numbers of spiders on the surface all bowing to her will, easily made her become superior to most of us.”

 

Okay, so Muffet was a female monster. The more information the better.

 

“Keep the information for when we are at your place, asshole. Just tell me the directions.”

 

Suddenly, his grin was back on his face.

“aaw shoot, if i knew we’d have company i would’ve made some cake and _finger food_.”

 

You didn’t even react to that, and drove to his place while being constantly annoyed with puns in between the directions he gave you.

 

When you reached the destination, he hopped out of the truck and opened the door to what seemed to be a way too big house just for two skeleton monsters. Sans opened the door and called out for his brother, whom dashed down the stairs and excitedly spread his arms in an attempt to hug you. 

 

It was almost adorable.   
Almost. 

 

You dodged the unwanted contact and stepped back, signaling with your stance that you were willing to break him apart if he tries that again, much to the dismay of Sans. Papyrus seemed heartbroken.

 

“paps why don’t you go into the kitchen and prepare some food for the human? i am sure they are just hostile because they are hungry, **am i right, human?** ”

 

He was daring to threaten you. Usually enough of a reason to show him who was the boss, but sadly - you needed that guy alive. At least for a while. To drain as much information as possible about Muffet, and to figure out if he was indeed the graverobber. If it turns out to be true, you’ll get your chance to kill this annoying creature soon enough.

 

So, you just nodded, Papyrus immediately cheering up and dashing into the kitchen.  
You sat down at the couch. An old one, hard and very uncomfortable. But it’ll do. Sans sat down across from you on a squeaky chair.

“So, speak up, skeleton. What do you know about Muffet?”

 

“gee kid how about some small talk first? i mean, we’re friends, aren’t we? that’s not nice.”, he joked, his claw-like, boney fingers drumming on the table between the two of you. An indescribable smell coming from the kitchen. You assumed that’s what human flesh smells like when it’s getting cooked, or rather, burned. Note to yourself; do not eat whatever the fuck Papyrus is cooking there.

 

“I ain’t got all day.”, you only responded. He sighed and scratched his scalp, a disgusting, cracking noise coming from the part where his skull is damaged. You always wondered what you would see if you peeked inside the hole. You’ll get your chance on that soon enough.

 

“well, uh… she’s a giant spider monster. likes to bake with spiders, for spiders, and stuff made out of spiders. yet if someone dares to hurt a spider she’ll get yer ass good for that. she’s, uh, venomous and huge.”

 

The only useful informations have been her size, and the fact that she was venomous. Get yourself together Sans. That’s not enough information!  
“Any known weaknesses?”

 

“nope.”

 

You growled. But she won’t be anything your guns won’t be able to handle. You preferred not to use guns, but close combat could be too dangerous in some cases.

 

“What about magic bullshit? Can she teleport like you or something?”

 

“nope. but she can catch you in a spiderweb in a blink of an eye, and there’s still her venom and the assloads of spiders helping her. that’s all i know.”  
That’s all? Well, seems you’ll have to deal with these few things.

 

You were just about to stand up, but felt a tug at your chest and how you were forced back down to the couch. You knew that feeling. Sans magic. His eye glowed dangerously. Since when was he so daring towards you?  
“my bro is cooking for you, you better stay a while longer, don’t you agree, _pal?_ ” The first time he attacked you, you had the advantage. But at the moment, it was clearly him having the advantage. And then you realized why it was so important to him that you stay.

 

Not only for his brother’s sake, also.. when you eat, you’d have to take off your mask. At least he somehow wasn’t intending to actually kill you. God knows why, but you weren’t risking to ask. You could see in his eyes that he also knew that you were an easy target for once. In this stance, only having a knife with you while sitting on a couch, you wouldn’t be able to react fast enough to his attacks and counter.

 

Yet you didn’t want to reveal your face. You had to think up something. Maybe just slightly pulling it up, or- “I can’t eat whatever the fuck he’s cooking there. I am a vegetarian.”, you lied.  
“then i guess it’s time to spread your horizon.”

 

You hated yourself for beginning to feel nervous around this annoying skeleton. You hated yourself for being in the disadvantage, an easy target. You should have thought about this more and take a gun with you. He was fast, but not fast enough to dodge a bullet.

 

“heh, realizing your mistake, eh kid? hows about a deal? i get my cleaver back, and we will spare ya this time and go back to being _friends_. sounding good?”, he offered. Shit. You had no option but to agree with a defeated sigh and a nod.  
This whole Muffet issue clearly made you lose your oversight, which lead to this situation.

 

He smirked, overly confident and satisfied with the current situation.

 

“i’ll get it after we eat, then~. so now that ya finally agreed on us being friends, why don’tcha finally tell me your name, huh? or do i have to pull out your soul and look at your stats myself?”

 

NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL.

 

“Just give me a nickname. I don’t like sharing my actual name. Not even the other repos know it.”

You expected him to protest, but instead, he seemed even more satisfied, as if he knew you’d say that. “ok. then imma call you reaper. oh, you smell that? food is ready.”

 

Alright… Here we go.

 

Papyrus walked in with three plates, almost elegantly carrying them over to the table and sitting down next to you.

 

“ I COOKED IT WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND ONLY THE BEST MEAT WE HAD, HUMAN! I HOPE YOU ENJOY MASTER-CHEF PAPYRUS’ SPAGHETTI!”

 

_The best meat they had. Ew._

 

“well, aren’t you going to eat it, reaper?”, Sans teased, mindlessly feasting on the spaghetti his brother cooked. Was it even edible? The noodles looked partially overcooked, partially burned - how did he do that what the hell - and the sauce smelled somehow like glue and burned flesh.

 

Both skeletons eyed you, waiting for you to finally take off the mask and eat. You knew you had no other option but to eat at least a little bit.

 

_Unbelievable, you were going to be a cannibal. You were going to eat human flesh._

 

You lifted the mask, just slightly enough for you to put the fork into your mouth, but not enough for them to see more than your chin and jawline.

 

 _God, this was disgusting. Chewy and slimey and moldy and yet somehow sandy textures, you had to pull yourself together not to gag and vomit on this._ Instead, you just swallowed and lowered the mask, fighting back any urges to react on this torment of a dish.

 

“AND? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?”

 

You had to be careful now.

 

“Not too bad considering I dislike Spaghetti in general.”, you tried to get out of this.

 

Papyrus just gasped, but gladly didn’t force you to eat more. Though you could tell he felt a bit offended. But he didn’t like greasy food, so who was he to blame someone for not liking pasta?

 

“not what i expected to see.”, Sans stated after Papyrus stood up to remove your plate. You just glanced at him.

 

“i expected your jawline to be edgier, more masculine and perhaps with some beard of sorts.”

 

So the fucker did plan this to get to see at least a bit of your face. “We’re all full of surprises. Now if you excuse me I got better things to do-”

“yeah, like giving me my cleaver and looking for a safe place? i bet the spiders are everywhere, looking for you. would be better for you if you stayed here with us. “

 

OH HELL NO.

 

“Fuck you, I will just get into my truck and drive home as usual. Muffet can’t get me in the outside human district. Plus she’s also after you.“

 

“you wouldn’t be able to get outta the district in time, i bet my ass she herself waits in front of the gates for you. your truck can easily crush the spiders, but never muffet. also the spiders would have to search for a few days before they can find our house.”

 

Okay, that was true. The house was well hidden. You were surprised when you followed Sans’ directions and in the end indeed reached a house.

 

Shit, he got you. It was not like you wouldn’t be ready to face Muffet now. But you needed to investigate on the graverobber as well, so you had to stick close to the skeleton. Muffet lurking was a perfect excuse without him raising suspicion.

 

Yet, he already was suspicious of you. You showed up without any corpses, and had more weapons than usual with you, and a weird, huge bag that smelled like stuff akin to cleaning products. He knew you intended to stay in the monster district for a while.

 

“Fine. I will stay this one night, and then finish my mission of taking down Muffet tomorrow.”

 

Gladly, Sans bought that.

 

“welcome to our house then, roomie~ better try not to sleep, can’t guarantee anything. imma try a skele- **ton** of things to see whatcha hide underneath your uniform.”

 

Great.


	4. Mommy’s little precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans you asshole

Stay awake, (Y/N).

The skeleton brothers already went to bed two hours ago. You could hear Sans and Papyrus snoring upstairs. You did believe that Papyrus actually slept, but you didn’t trust Sans at all. Not after he told you that he’d do _anything_ to catch a glance underneath your uniform.

Papyrus kept his door open, “IN CASE YOU FEEL LONELY HUMAN, FEEL FREE TO JOIN ME” he told you. Sans seems to have locked his. You just sat there on the couch, in a rather uncomfortable position, that at least allowed you to keep an eye on all the doors, except the bathroom. You managed to get a gun while they brushed their teeth, but you won’t be able to sneak out a second time for sure.

Actually, if you were really silent, you could try to find proof of Sans being the graverobber. You only would have to take off your heavy boots to be able to sneak through the kitchen. The old, wooden floor creaked at some points. You were pretty sure you managed to memorize those spots when Papyrus walked around, trying to be a good host. So they shouldn’t be a problem. 

 

You assumed Sans would keep the goods in the fridge or freezer. Since they were just left in coffins to rot, he must use caution to keep the value of the corpses up. Even monsters won’t eat flesh that’s _too_ rotten.

Taking off your boots and neatly placing them next to the couch, and holding your gun in your right hand, you started to make your way to the kitchen. You were slow, but for that, did not make any noise, and avoided the creaking parts. 

Once you reached the fridge you went down on your knees and opened it with the barrel of your gun - just in case - and waited a moment. Except for cold air streaming out, cooling down the leather of your uniform, nothing happened. Good.

You stood up and took a look at the things inside. Sadly, nothing unusual. Fingers, two brains, lots of leftover “Spaghetti”, and an empty bag of nachos.

You cursed under your breath, stepped aside and opened the freezer next, the same way. More cold air, but nothing else coming outside. Maybe you were a bit too paranoid. Once more, nothing unusual to bee seen. Fuck dammit.

“hungry, reaper?”

_FUCK DAMMIT._

You got startled and almost slipped, barely keeping your balance by holding onto the kitchen counter as you turned to look at Sans. You caught yourself having your index finger hover over the trigger of the gun. But you managed to keep your cool. 

The glimmer in Sans’ eyes was promising nothing good. 

You just realized, you forgot to turn the voice distorter back on. _Whatever you do, do not respond._

“aw, come on, givin’ me the **cold shoulder** again? ‘t least answer me.”  
That motherfucker knows. _He fucking knows you turned the distorter off to save battery._

You answered with a shrug, but of course he didn’t let you get away with that.

“reaper, pal, friend, _bestie_... ‘s not really polite to not respond when asked a question. “ He growled, his smirk widening, and his eye flashing even more maliciously. Shit.

Wait. You still had the advantage. You had your gun in your hand. Teleportation or not - he was not fast enough to escape that. So you kept quiet, rose the gun, aimed for his head and told him with a flick of your head to get the fuck back upstairs. He eyed the gun, grin faltering within seconds. He knew you meant it, even though you didn’t say a word. He wasn’t willing to give up though. 

“rude. this is still my house, kid. just show me your face, and i’ll forget you’re sniffin’ around.”

Nope. Never. Your answer was a quick movement of your thumb, the familiar click telling him the safety is off. Another flick of your head. But he didn’t move.  
“ya know…”, he started, “teleporting and moving stuff with my magic aren’t my only skills.”

A noise, a new one you never heard before, right behind you. You tensed up, unable to dare to look behind you. Another noise, it sounds like breathing. There was someone - or something - behind you.

“i guess i forgot to introduce you to my little friends.”

Shit. Since you didn’t know what the actual fuck that thing behind you is, you weren’t willing to take the risk of just shooting. Growling silently you lowered your arm again, feeling the sting of defeat once more. Sans was lucky he caught you off-guard, otherwise it would have been you having the advantage, as usual. Fine, let him have this one victory, but you still won’t let him take a look at your actual body.

His shit-eating grin didn’t make the situation less frustrating. And you could still feel its breath against you - the leathery, still cooled fabric of your uniform pressing against your skin with every blow. You knew exactly why that thing was still behind you. He wanted to force you to take your uniform off.

“well… i’m waiting.”

You hesitated and thought about your options. Option one, you only take off your mask, showing him your face, in the hope he’d be satisfied with that. 

Option two, you use your reflexes to kill whatever that thing behind you is - but then you’d be an easy target for Sans himself. 

Option three, you shoot Sans, but that thing behind you still might be able to attack, so again a death sentence. 

Option four, you call Papyrus for help, but give away your voice, and risk a lot if he doesn’t wake up and help you. 

Option five, you try to run for it, but for that you’d have to turn your back on both Sans and that ominous being, again easy target.

God damn it. Taking off your mask was the best option this far. Actually, even if he knows your face, that doesn’t mean you were less of a threat as a repo. Plus you would eventually kill him anyway, no matter if he was the graverobber or not. Maybe, if you manage to act very good and make him actually believe you were starting to become actual friends with him, you could sacrifice him for an advantage in battle if you do have to face that spider thing Muffet.

Holding onto that thought, you sighed and put the safety back on the gun, put it into the holster and rose your hands to your head, first turning back on the distorter.

“Fine, I will take off my mask, and then we’re good. Deal?”

“nope. full body and _then_ we’re good.”

You tried your best staying polite, god he was pissing you off now.

“Come on, I thought we’re _friends._ Respect my privacy or you have to kill me, which means you would get to see my body. Sure, you could sell it illegally - my corpse would make you rich since I am infamous here, but for that you’d break your poor brother’s heart for killing his _only human ‘friend’._ So what will it be?”

Once more, his grin faded for a moment. He didn’t think about that before you mentioned it.

“... very clever. good, reapz. i’ll take your face, and your actual voice, and you got yourself a deal.”

With a move of his phalanges, that thing behind you moved and finally revealed itself by soaring next to Sans. And you’d be lying if you’d say it wasn’t one terrifying motherfucker right there. A large, floating skull looking like a mix of canine, dragon and bovine with somberly glowing eyes. You didn’t want to know what that thing was capable of.

Your hands were still on your mask, your muscles refusing to do what you want them to do. Everything inside you screamed no, abort the mission, don’t reveal your face and voice. But you had no other option. So you did the thing, and pulled it off, staring at the much smaller skeleton with a determined look. He didn’t react, just stare back, processing what he is seeing there. (E/c) eyes, (h/c) (h/l) hair, surprisingly frail features with full lips.

And obviously, a female human being. That caught him off-guard. Suddenly, he bursted out into laughter, clutching his ribs and dropping to his knees. Wow. Rude.

“What’s so funny, huh?” you angrily responded, giving him the second part of the deal. Your voice. He toppled over with laughter even harder, it was _almost_ cute how he rolled on the ground, tiny feet kicking the air as he tried to compose himself. _Don’t stare at the legs, you are mad, don’t let your weird leg kink distract you. It’s nothing but lame-ass bones anyway._

He isn’t responding, but the noise he made woke up Papyrus, who tiredly slouched downstairs, rubbing an eye-socket, to see what this all was about. Oh great, now he saw your face, too. He needed a double-take on this, processing the new input with his mouth agape.

Grumbling, you slid the mask back on, crossing your arms in front of your chest, finally getting breathy words from Sans aside his laughter, his usually baritone voice awkwardly high pitched from all of this.

“no, nonono c’mon reapz take it back off *huff, snort* let us see yer face again.”

You just flipped him off and went back to the couch. Papyrus still didn’t move, staring blankly at a wall now. He was really slow with processing, it seems. Within seconds Sans teleported right beside you - wow lazy fucker could have walked these few steps - still snickering and repeatedly reaching out for your mask, just for you to slap his hand away as he tries to take it off once more.

Papyrus finally came back to earth, turning to look at you, eyes wide and glistening in excitement. Okay, you had to admit, the way he stood there, staring at you like a child seeing Santa for the first time, actually _was_ adorable.

“WOWIE HUMAN, I NEVER EXPECTED YOU TO LOOK LIKE THAT! I HOPE YOU DON’T TAKE ANY OFFENSE IN ME SAYING I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE A MALE.”

Did your features really do look _that_ feminine? Well, one more reason to always stay masked. Sometimes, you did wish to be a guy. But not for the genital-issues or identity crisis. You sometimes wished to be one because ever since the world turned into a huge ball of bullshit, women actually didn’t get much respect again. Okay, having a dick might be awesome sometimes, and for that getting rid of your breasts and your monthly red week would be a bliss, but the only thing you really wanted was respect. Which you only got as long as no one knows that the best repo around was actually a female.

“I am not offended, but you two better be keeping this a secret, got that? The fact you saw my face and know my gender is actually threatening to me, if you two give away that information in any form I am forced to kill you. And you better avoid any pronouns when referring to me in public.”

As if you wouldn’t kill them either way. You had no intention to kill the tall skeleton just yet, but now that he did get downstairs and saw you, any moment of him being alive was a risk. A risk you won’t take for too long, but first, you needed to get rid of Sans.

“THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTANDABLE! DON’T FRET HUMAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL TAKE YOUR SECRET TO THE GRAVE.”

_Damn right he will._

“same for me, i guess. we cool reapz.”

Even though Sans at least kind of got what he wanted, and showed no intention to keep on trying to unclothe you fully - the question here being was he a pervert or just curious - still didn’t manage to make you calm down. You were tired, but still not willing to fall asleep, especially since you still needed to find the evidence. Which won’t happen as long as you know Sans is awake and caught you sniffing around. He was probably extra-cautious of you know. Just staring at his eternal, dirty grin was telling you yes - that motherfucker has shit to hide. Shit you will find, and get him executed for. Hopefully by your very own hands. Or that Muffet thing, would be nice to let her do your job for you before you slay her as well. Saves nerves, ammo and energy. Since you had to admit that Papyrus was somewhat of a nice guy who only kills and feasts on human flesh because he doesn’t know better should hopefully not stand in your way if you have to kill him, too.

As a repo, feeling guilt or sympathy for anyone or anything was a huge weakness. And an unforgivable one at that. Damn, your eyes are burning from the lack of sleep. Coffee would be amazing now. Asking won’t hurt, would it?

“You don’t happen to have coffee in here, do you?” You asked, a yawn drawing out the word ‘here’, the awkward shudder following right behind. Papyrus’ confused expression informed you he didn’t even know what the hell that is supposed to be, but Sans shoves his hands in his pockets, closing his eyesockets and humming knowingly.

“actually, we don’t have that stuff, but i know a guy. we could go to grillbz, he does sell coffee now but… he only does so cuz’ dem spiders took over his business and force him to sell their spider bakery crapola. so it’s a risk for ya to appear there.”

So getting coffee means eventual confrontation with the spiders. Fine, a risk you were willing to take. You’d either get energy from a hot cup of coffee, or fighting of spiders which will give you an adrenaline boost.

“Asshole has straws? Won’t take off the mask in public.”

Sans nodded, seeming strangely excited about the idea of taking you there. You will never understand what’s going on in the thick, cracked skull of his. But fine, to show you were willing to actually let him bring you there, you stood up and re-adjusted the mask to make sure it covers every inch of your head perfectly, and then put the heavy boots back on.

“YOU TWO HAVE YOUR FUN THERE, I WILL GO BACK TO BED BUT MAKE SURE YOU TWO ARE BACK BEFORE SUNRISE.”

Back before sunrise? What was that about now? But honestly you didn’t care enough to ask. You also didn’t care enough to ask them where the hell the rest of their family was, since them being brothers must mean they’d have some sort of parents. You couldn’t help but imagine a big-ass skeleton with razor sharp teeth, long ass claws and _fine legs-_ (Y/N) stop.

“just in case you should get some weapons out of your truck and come back here, i’ll use a shortcut. ‘s too risky to drive around with the truck now.”

Even though that did make sense, being outside - god knows where - without your truck made you feel uneasy. He was right though. So no truck for you. You nodded and left the house to walk over to the vehicle parking across the house, the metal shimmering nicely in the moonlight. Just touching it, even though you couldn’t feel the metal under your gloves, made you feel relaxed. But some heavy firearms in a bag hunched over your shoulders should be just as satisfying. 

You unlocked the door, climbed inside and put everything you could into the several holsters of your uniform. Knives, a small tomahawk, a few guns. As you were looking around for the several weapons, you found out that you indeed had heavier weapons inside the truck, too. The fact you never needed them before made you forget their presence, way the hell in the back, in a metal cabinet. But here the are. Grenades, landmines, shotguns, rifles, even a sniper rifle and a mobile rocket launcher.

Right, they were here in case one of the targets barricades themselves too well for you to break in normally, or if you need to take down a vehicle they use in an attempt to escape. So, in the bag you put the flamethrower, a shotgun, loads of ammo for all your firearms. That should do the trick. Just in case maybe a grenade or two. Who knows if you were unlucky enough to face Muffet herself there, a grenade should get rid of that problem very easily.

Now that you prepared yourself, you went back inside the warmth of the house and looked at Sans. He quirked a boney eyebrow upon the sight of you - equiped with assloads of weapons, almost every inch of your uniform holding a tool of death and a giant bag with even bigger and deadlier items.

“welp, ‘s long as you can still sit comfortably with this shit.” He commented on the sight with a shrug, and then extended his hand to you. You cringed on the inside. You **really** didn’t want to touch his hand, despite the thick gloves. But fine. If that’s what he needs to do to shortcut your ass to the coffee spawner, you were willing to oblige. 

Hesitatingly you took his hand and even before you could properly process what was going on, you saw the familiar flash from his magic, that color swirling with an eerie darkness, white, distorted things popping up and disappearing in the blink of an eye, you felt like both falling and getting sucked by a strong force to every side at once. And you actually felt _scared_. This place felt so somber, depressingly dangerous, with a sick tint of fascination upon the sensations you just experienced, the odd, absolutely deadly desire to investigate, to find out what all those things, lights and swirls were about. But as fast as all this happened, just as fast it ended. Leaving you with both feet on hard ground, back in the reality with a feeling of dread. Well, at least that gave you another kick to stay awake longer.

You needed a few moments to calm down your heart and breathe. You didn’t even realize you held it, but since it were only a few seconds in whatever the fuck that place was, you felt like you held your breath for hours. Your lungs ached as you inhaled. Sans just stared at you, chuckling.

“he he he, yeah first time can be a lil intense. shoulda warned ya. sorry reapz.”

You didn’t answer just yet, just inhaling, exhaling, and sorting out your thoughts. That experience - you weren’t sure if you ever wanted to do that again, or if you couldn’t wait for that to happen. Like a car crash, back in the day before everything turned to shit and you were a normal, human being, doing girl stuff with normal problems and a normal job, the baddest nightmares being those where you were naked in public or got chased by something, just to wake up and realize it’s all good. Back in those days, you didn’t want to look at car crashes or the aftermath of them, yet you didn’t want to remove your gaze from the sight. This experience here was rather similar to it, just more intense.

“Shut up, I got surprised but I am okay.” You hissed through clenched teeth and regained your composure, scanning the new area professionally with your (e/c) orbs, to be prepared for where you might get ambushed, where you’d simply have a disadvantage, and where to fight if you had to with the best results. Doing that, you spotted the old, shabby bar with the word “Grillby’s” on the front. You remembered that Sans told you Muffet was very huge, so no way she’d fit inside that building. At least there is that. 

Without saying any more words, you walked towards the worn-out wooden doors and kicked them open - old habits die hard - immediately drawing the attention of the few monsters inside to you. A group of dog monsters, a red bird monster, some sort of fish-thing, a horse monster with sunglasses - why does that motherfucker wear sunglasses at night - and behind the counter was a monster made out of black fire. Glasses on his earless face, round, threatening eyes behind them, red flames flickering within the part that looked like a giant, crooked mouth, more red flames forming claws at his fingertips.

Everyone was alert, one half of the dog monster group growling, the other half was obviously terrified. Only the fire itself seemed to remain calm, looked at you, then turned the gaze back to the glass he held in his hands and continued to polish it with a tissue. Sans lazily followed you, patting your back since he couldn’t reach your shoulder.

“gee, reapz don’t scare my friends like that.”

You wanted to immediately rip off his arm for that and then stir your coffee with his index finger, but you just smacked away his phalanges, then grabbed him by the hood and threw him in front of you.

“Stay where I can see you.” You growled, reminding him that you were not taking any shit, especially not in public. The skeleton huffed, seemingly offended and then walked over to the bar. At least his performance managed to calm down the monsters enough. Sans was a regular, everyone knew him. And if he was that relaxed around you, you should have a good day, they assumed, slowly starting to mind their own business one by one instead of focusing on every single movement of yours. As much as you liked how they saw you as a threat, all you fucking wanted was a coffee. 

Sans sat down at the counter, you followed behind, dropping the bag to the stool between you and the bird and once more gazed around to check the surroundings for any spider. If they control this place, there is ought to be at least one you can’t see yet. A thought nagging at you. But hey, usually you had to hunt down much larger individuals, not fucking teeny-tiny spiders. So you may be forgiven for being unable to spot one just yet.

“‘sup grillbz. large coffee for reapz here, and the usual for me.”

“Black Coffee.” You added.

Grillby looked up again, wordlessly staring at Sans, before turning his head to look at you, and then disappeared in the backside of the bar through a door. You had to admit, this far you liked him. He wasn’t baffling you with bullshit, kept his mouth shut, and minded his own business. You could get used to that fire monster. You held yourself back from trying to imagine what legs made of fire would look like.

“good news, only two spiders in here, one of them didn’t even notice you yet. bad news, the other did and seems to try escapin’.” Sans whispered to you. How did he notice them, and you didn’t? Was that some sort of monster sonar or some bullshit?

“Where.”

“one in the backside with grillbz, the other is currently crawling over the second table on the left.”

Was that teamwork just now? Shit, Sans was actually useful. Fine, you mentally decided to stop your graverobber investigations until you slayed Muffet, that ability was way to convenient. 

“I’ll take care of the table runner, you figure something out to take down the backside asshole.”

He hummed in agreement, side-eyeing you as you stood up and walked over to the table. You didn’t even try to be subtle or stealthy, since that spider noticed you already anyway and with 8 damn eyes surely managed to keep at least one on you while it tried to escape. Thankfully, human beings are much faster than spiders due to being able to take much bigger steps, so you reached it before the arachnoid even got to the edge of the furniture. You forcefully smacked the palm of your hand on it, crushing the critter, a light cracking and squeezing noise audible. 

Some monsters took in a sharp breath, starting to whisper to each other. The only things you managed to hear clearly were “Muffet” and “this Repo is insane.”

You rose your hand, looking at the mess you made on the table and the glove. Flicking your tongue, you walked over to the group of dog monsters, all of them tensing up in an instant. You reached out, grabbing one of the napkins they had spread underneath their poker cards, cleaned your glove, and then cleaned the table. Still holding the napkin in your hand, you returned to the counter to a calm as usual Sans and a baffled Grillby. Deciding you didn’t make your point clear enough yet, you bend a bit to the left, reaching out for an ashtray - almost touching the bird monster, which flinched and whimpered - and put the crumbled napkin inside, then pushing it towards the fire monster with your fingertips.

“Light it up.”

He hesitated.

“‘s okay grillbz. reapz’ gonna slay muffet anyway.” Sans encouraged the spectacled monster, and finally he did as you told him and set the spider on fire. You could have sworn you saw black, flickering flames outlining his mouth forming into a grin for a moment. Must be satisfying to watch a minion of that bitch burning in an ashtray.

“uh, and about the one in the back, we don’t need a plan just walk right in ‘n kill it. doubtin’ grillbz would stop ya.”

Since he didn’t move an inch hearing this, you took that as a confirmation of him having no problem with you entering the kitchen of his to take it down. Good. 

“Get me a straw while I’m on it.”

With that statement you stood up once more, grabbing another tissue, this time normally opening the door and searching for the spider. Thankfully, the tiles and basically everything in here was shabby, but white. A black spider should be no problem to find, the only other black thing being the flames on the stove next to you. As the spider spotted you, it began crawling towards an opened window, giving away its position to your skilled eyes. _Splat._

You wiped off the dead vermin’s residue once more, then returned to the counter and wordlessly placed it in the ashtray, Grillby then set the fabric on fire again. Finally, coffee. You pulled up your mask just slightly enough to get the straw inside your mouth - okay drinking coffee through a straw was a bit weird you guess, but who cares - and felt the hot liquid warm your insides, bringing new life to your tired body. Finally, you could relax a little, even though the sound of Sans slurping the ketchup right next to you was a bit annoying. You felt like this moment couldn’t be destroyed by anything.

That was until you saw Sans and Grillby tense up, and heard how the other monsters around stopped whispering and shift nervously as a terrifying sound echoed through the building from outside.

“oops… i think i oversaw one. someone alerted the pet.”

The pet? What pet? You were just about to ask when you saw the flash of light, and Sans was gone. Thank you, asshole. Now shit seems to go down and he fucking leaves. So much for being “friends”. But whatever that pet was, you had more than enough weapons to dust it. So you just shook it off and continued to sip your coffee, nerves completely calm, mind focusing on nothing but the unexpectedly delightful taste this coffee had to offer, despite hearing a low, obviously pissed off snarl from outside once more. 

“U-Uh, Repo? not that I-I want to sound pushy or something b-but… you should probably stop drinking and, uh..”, the red bird monster started, voice trembling with fear. You rose your hand to signal her to shut up before she could finish and emptied your cup.

“Make me another coffee, I will be right back.” You told Grillby as you put the empty cup down on the counter, and pulled out the shotgun from your bag, walking towards the wooden doors.


End file.
